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Oh, America. Oh, oh, oh.
I came home from running errands today and noticed that one of the neighbor’s dogs was out on the road. I pulled into our driveway and got out to unload my bags and the dog ran into our driveway and charged me, snapping and growling. My instinct was to freeze and as I stood there wondering what to do, the neighbor came to her doorway and said, “Oh, sorry! Come home, dog!”. Which the dog ignored. So she stepped onto her stairs and called to the dog again. At that point the dog turned toward her voice and headed up to the road and toward home. I turned and started toward my house and the fucking thing came charging back at me, all the way across our yard. I was livid. And terrified. At this point the neighbor deemed it important enough to actually come over to the fence to call the dog (god forbid she actually come into our yard and grab the stupid thing), who finally went home. As I was going into the house she called over the fence, “Oh, sorry!”. I was so shaken and pissed off that I went into the house without responding.
I love dogs. Really, really love dogs. And I don’t blame this dog for its lack of training but I also don’t want to be attacked in my own yard. S. called the landlord to alert her to the situation and told her that we’d be calling animal control the next time it happened. The landlord tried to suggest that we talk to the neighbor and S. told her if it was just barking or some other nuisance, we would. Having our personal safety at risk is another thing entirely. And the landlord agreed. The neighbor called us later in the afternoon and left a message that said she was sorry, she must have left the gate open or maybe the dog jumped the fence, he’s never bitten anybody but “he’s very aggressive” (yeah, I noticed) and “hopefully” it won’t happen again. Not exactly reassuring. Again, I feel somewhat shitty about even considering calling the doggie cops but she clearly A) is not in control of her animals and B) based on what she told me yesterday, this is an ongoing issue with her pups. Fuck. If anyone has any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
We have a new neighbor. She is actually an old tenant of the house next door who has moved back in. Her boyfriend and his new girlfriend had been taking care of the place while she was in Canada. The boyfriend and his gal are very nice, very quiet – ideal over-the-fence neighbors. The newly re-planted neighbor…not so much.
I found out she was back when I went out to get my mail yesterday and was set on by three dogs. People frequently dump dogs out here and I thought they might be strays (and was getting a little freaked out by the leader, who was really growling at me) when I heard her call to them. After she’d called them back into the yard, she began a bizarre monologue about the dogs, which included telling me that our other neighbors used to call the cops on her for not controlling them but they won’t hurt anyone, then her neighbors in Canada called the cops on her because her dogs would get loose and surround hikers on the trail that ran behind her house but they won’t hurt anyone and I think they treed your cat last night but they won’t hurt him hey don’t worry about it because they aren’t mean really and won’t bite you if YOU’RE mean*and oh, they won’t hurt anyone oh and hey by the way I’m a drunk but I’ve been on the wagon for two months but that doesn’t usually last HAWHAWHAW. That was followed up by a tirade against one of our neighbors, the landlords and her ex and his g.f. who are still living in the house and oh god it’s in terrible shape and…By that point, I was desperate to flee back into the safety of my house. I’d punch a dog to get him off me but unfortunately, you can’t do that so easily with people. Which really sucks.
When I related all this to S. and pondered how we might negotiate this person as a neighbor he said, “That’s what cops and animal control are for.” Roger that. I plan to be polite but otherwise un-neighborly. Not answering the door when she comes over will be a start.
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In other mad-dog related news, I was up reading last night around 11pm when I suddenly heard coyotes very close to the house. We usually hear them down in the creekbed behind the back pasture but this time they were much closer. I jumped off the couch and was met at the door by a very freaked-out Stevie. It sounded like the coyotes were just across the road, possibly in the neighbor’s pasture and were attacking something that was giving out agonized shrieks. I am hoping it was a rabbit and not our neighbor’s cat, who likes to hang out over there. Steve stayed inside with me for a while and was hesitant to go back out when I went to bed. I probably should have let him stay in.
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I want to offer a belated public thanks to DR. GEEK who made his “God Willing and The Creek Don’t Rise” mix (originally made for Harriet) available to me a few weeks ago. I loaded it into my EyePawed and it’s my new fave walking mix. Thanks again, D.G.!
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I know some of you have been wondering how to get on my good side because being friends with me has so many obvious benefits. Yes. Well. Wonder no more, America. Buy me THIS HOUSE and we’ll be BFF. I love me some mid-century architecture, probably because my formative years were spent in a groovy EICHLER-inspired home in suburban Los Angeles. So someone get on that, ok? Thanks. ‘Preciate it.
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Conversation with the older charge yesterday:
OC: Laura, did you know that Max in my class has an identical twin brother?
ME: No, that’s interesting! Do you think you would like to be a twin – have someone exactly like you?
OC: I wish W (younger charge) and I were twins.
ME: Why is that?
OC: Because then he would understand me.
(Which, if I know older charge, really translates to “Because then he would do my bidding”).
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I should be out walking this morning but I also have some time-critical errands to do today so I think I’ll do those instead. Could I do both? Yes. But that would require getting out of the house within the next half-hour and as I’m sitting here in my pj’s, that’s looking doubtful. I’m trying to motivate myself back into my daily walking routine but so far I’ve only managed to get out once-twice a week. I have no excuses any more – we are having some lovely, cool mornings. Perhaps if my clothes start getting snug…
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I guess I could at least get dressed. That would be a start in the right direction. Tally ho, America. Let me know when I can move into the house.
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I’m Scorpio, which according to most astrological profiles I’ve read can be distilled down to this: I have eerie observational powers, I tend to be mean, and I’ll f**k anything that moves, after which I will kill it and eat it. The end.
Do you read your horoscope every day? I don’t usually except for the occasional periods when I do. And when I am in one of these periods I read at least three and pick whichever one I like best. (There’s some science for ya.) Here are three for today, which apparently suggest that I should swim upstream with the sharks toward my destiny, which has been determined by my interest which in turn has become motivation.
You cannot take popular opinion seriously, right now. The mob mentality is all based on the lowest common denominator — and common you are not! It’s awfully easy to just go along with the crowd, but the crowd never goes anywhere interesting, do they? Swim upstream today and carve your own niche out of life. It’s much more rewarding.
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You’re swimming with the sharks now, and actually it’s where you belong — you’re one of them. You’re just as sharp and voraciously ready for success as anyone around you.
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Whatever motivates you (or not) dictates the general direction and the accomplishments of your life. Whatever spurs you on or attracts you is your motivation. This is the basis upon which all life is built and how it unfolds. Are you consciously aware of your motivations? “I think, therefore I am” is true!
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I actually do agree somewhat with the last one as a general rule – I think people tend to be most successful at things that appeal to their true nature. But, I digress from my point which was to do an informal poll.
1. How many times a week do you read your horoscope?
2. Have you ever changed long- or short-term plans based on what you read in your horoscope?
3. Do you read your horoscope more frequently when you are under stress?
4. Do you feel like you fit the general description of people born under your sign?
5. Have you ever had a full astrological chart done? And if so, do you feel like it reflected your basic nature?
If interested, answer in the comments section.
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ps Two posts last night – scroll on back!
Whew. I am tah-red. Yes, weep for me, parents, I know you go through this every damned day but I do not and well, I’m a bit fatigued.
The weekend flew past – Saturday involved a birthday party at which older charge was reunited with some of his preschool friends. There was a mixed theme of “Six-year-old’s Star Wars birthday” and “ACL open house” so beer and wine were both flowing by about 11am – I didn’t partake of that, but I did eat a cupcake. And it was good. And I would eat another one right now if I had one. Err…The kids bashed the s**t out of a Darth Vader pinata and then…stalking up the driveway…came Darth himself (a costumed dad), challenging all of the kids to fight him with the lightsabres each had received in their goodie bags. And yes, all hell broke loose, but it was fun hell. Younger charge was left out and/or uninterested in many of the big kids’ activities so he and I spent most of the time playing a game of croquet on the front lawn. So civilized, dontcha know.
After the party, we went home and recuperated a bit, then S. came over and we all played in the backyard for a few hours. At one point, older charge looked over at S. and said, “Do you want to play ‘ball-crusher’?”. S. shot me a look and said, “Uh…I don’t know, T, do I?” It turned out to be a game older charge and a friend had invented and thankfully the only balls that were harmed were beach balls. We all had dinner and spent most of the evening watching old Bugs Bunny cartoons. Very nice.
Today we went to San Antonio and guess what? They have one of the prettiest botanical gardens I have ever seen. The treehouse exhibit was nice – although none of the designs was a true treehouse – the best was definitely the house made out of movable bamboo screens that allowed you to totally redesign the house – or to trap your younger brother and make him cry. But what really got the charges excited was a series of three modern CONSERVATORIES that are staggered into a hillside. You pass through each one and a series of outdoor gardens until you get to the final conservatory, which is about four stories high and holds enormous old palms and a variety of cynads. Spectacular. Another nice surprise was the on-site restaurant which featured some innovative menus and where S. had what he called one of the top two meals he’s had in San Antonio. (Lobster benedict, in case you want to know.)
After a few hours of running around and a quick trip to the gift shop, we headed back to Austin. We just had time for baths and dinner before the charges’ folks and baby brother returned home. ‘Twas a lovely weekend all the way around. And did I mention that I’m tired? I am.
Good night, internet.
I will be spending the next two days and nights with the two older charges while their folks and infant brother travel north for a wedding. There are many activities in the works, including a birthday party and soccer game. But the thing we’re all looking forward to most is a visit to the San Antonio Botanical Garden to see their TREEHOUSE exhibit. Looks fun, no? Older charge is really into the M@gic Tr33 House books right now and he is very excited at the prospect of seeing some non-magical but hands-on treehouses. S. will join us tomorrow night and for the Botanical Garden trip so it should be a pretty full weekend.
I had another meeting with the interview subject this morning and all is still going well on that front. She didn’t bring her scrapbooks but she has invited me to her daughter’s house next week to look at them. I am hoping at some point to interview her kids (all adults) but so far, they’ve mostly been keeping their distance. They were involved in their mom’s public downfall in a pretty significant way so I am hoping at some point to get access to them. Her oldest son is very leery of me but I have already met one of the daughters and I think she trusts me, so we’ll see what happens.
I wish you all a fine weekend.
This video was widely posted yesterday but I think it bears a showing here, in case anyone missed it. Anyone wondering why Sarah Palin is being kept from the media? Well, wonder no more. (I couldn’t get the video to embed so you’ll have to go HERE to watch.) If Katie Couric can make you look stupid, there are problems Big problems.
And how about grandpa’s attempt to make his pussying-out of the debates look like some NOBLE ACT?
I cannot think about any election in my lifetime that has made me as frightened for our country as this one has. (And that includes Bush’s re-election.) If enough Americans are stupid enough to elect the McCain/Palin ticket, then they deserve every horrible thing that will happen to them as a result. Unfortunately, that will also mean that the rest of us will suffer along with them. Which is why I am very seriously considering moving overseas.
Yesterday morning, as we were lying in bed:
Me: (upon waking up with hellacious cramps) I’m think I’m going to yank out my uterus and leave it under my pillow for the uterus fairy.
S: (laughs)
Me: Do you think she’ll take my uterus and leave me a shiny new dime?
S: (getting out of bed) Maybe.
Me: Hey, come back! Too much uterus talk?
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On the phone with my sister yesterday:
Me: Are the stinky teenagers behaving?
Sis: For the most part. Are you still up for being a single parent for a week in November? (I’m staying with her brood so she and her husband can have a nice long vacation alone – their first in over ten years.)
Me: Yes.
Sis: Good.
Me: You guys ARE coming back, aren’t you?
Sis: (silence)
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This morning, in the bathroom. I am peeing and Stevie comes and and begins to meow incessantly at me.
Me: Go away, Steve.
Steve: Meow meow meow
Me: You’re a menace, Steve.
Steve: MEOW!
Me: Or a primadonna, or maybe you’re like MAdonna. I’m sure she’s at least as much of a pain in the ass as you are.
Steve: Meow meow meow
Me: Why don’t you channel this energy into something useful, like making me some coffee?
Steve: (stares)
Me: Scram, cat.
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Yep. My life is pretty full.
First of all, what the hell, internet? Where is everyone? I bathed and brushed my teeth, I swear. Or do you all have better things to do than read my poorly-written, unedited drivel? Well, what is it?! (And while you’re here, be sure to scroll back one for the latest PETA news. It will be worth your while.)
Second order of business: my weird dreams and their provenance (provenances? provenai?)
DREAM ONE: I am at a high school reunion. A lot of people I recognize but wasn’t ever really friends with come up to me and tell me how glad they are to see me and OH MY GOD what have I been up to and here, look at pictures of our kids and….Provenance: My 30th h.s. reunion took place earlier this month and while I had no desire to attend, I did take a look at the photo albums and guest book. And you know what? Everyone looks older. Some of them look really bad. Some of them look better than they did in h.s. Some have the same haircuts they had in 1978. But the weird thing was reading the comments and seeing my name mentioned more than a few times as someone people wanted to “catch up” with. I had many friends across a broad spectrum of cliques in h.s. but my close friends numbered oh, two. And I keep in touch with those two…and I don’t really care to reconnect with anyone else. Very weird.
DREAM TWO: S. and I are attending a huge outdoor concert with my eldest nephew. At some point, we are inside a building and David Bowie zips past us on an electric scooter, followed by two cops. (Sorry, Claudia, your b.f. was in my dream! HA!). Then we go outside and I see my friend’s band coming in. He comes over to us and asks if we’re going to stay for the show and I tell him no. He says we should stay because Flea is going to be there and we can all hang out later and he feels bad because the last time we were all together everyone was mad at each other. Provenance: This friend’s band is playing ACL this year and it may very well be their last show, ever. Or at least the last one for a long while so I’ve been weighing whether it’s worth it to try to get over there Sunday night.
DREAM THREE (which is what dream two turned into after I woke up briefly and fell back to sleep): S. and the nephew and I are now wandering around a downtown area in some big European city. A taxi pulls up to a large building in front of us and two men get out and are looking at the engine. Something feels wrong about it and I yell “RUN!” at S. and the nephew and as we are running away, the car blows up. Provenance: I read too many newspapers.
DREAM FOUR: I am in my office working. I decide to take a break and pick up my dad’s shortwave radio and carry it into the living room to listen to it. (Something I actually do from time to time). I sit down on the couch and start trying to find a station – there is a cacophony of static and voices speaking in numerous languages and then I realize that underneath all the noise is my dad’s voice, speaking to me. His voice slowly rises about the background static and I am able to tune him in more clearly and we have a long conversation until he starts fading back into the static. Provenance: I miss my dad.
