CAPRICORN CRINGE has recruited me to play along with this meme. In it, I will answer five questions posed by her. The rest of the rules are at the bottom of this post for anyone who wants to play.

1. If you could tell your father one thing about yourself (or your life) today that he didn’t know before he passed away, what would it be?

Hmm. I don’t know. That I’m happy. And that people are paying me to write about him. That would blow his mind.

2. You have a crazy, alcoholic, pain-in-the-ass neighbor. Her house is on fire and you know she’s inside. If you knew you could do it without getting hurt yourself (I guess this would make you Wonder Woman), would you go in the burning house to find her?

I’d wait until the house was burned beyond repair, ensuring that she would have to move, THEN I’d go in and save her. In theory. Fire is probably my biggest fear in the world.

3. Supporting yourself as a hippie writer takes a high level of self-esteem and confidence. When (and how) did you first begin to believe you could get paid for your words?

I don’t think it takes a high level of self-esteem or confidence. It takes a willingness to be broke a lot and possibly some sort of psychotic break from reality. No one who sat down and really thought about what it takes would do this for a living. (The serious answer is that I am one of those sickening people who always knew what she wanted to do. I love to write, I have been doing it since childhood, and by sheer luck I have found a way to make a living at it.)

4. If there was one event or situation in your past that you could change – what would it be? And why would you do it?

I would kick the guy who mugged me in the nuts. Hard enough that it would hurt his great-grandsons.

5. You have an opportunity to kill George W Bush and Karl Rove and you would never be caught. You only have one bullet. Which one do you choose?

Honestly, as heinous as I think both of those people are, I couldn’t kill either one. I could, however, go all Twilight Zone creepy kid on them and send them to the cornfield.

6. Your bonus question: You have a twin and she has a job interview and a hot date. She can’t change the interview appointment and she really likes this guy, so she asks you to go on the date in her place. The guy is totally hot (and you’re single). Do you let him take you home?

No. I would never betray an imaginary (or real) sister or a friend over some guy. Ever.

If you want to play along, leave a comment and ask to be interviewed and I’ll think of 5 questions to ask you. After I email you your questions (I’ll be nice, I promise…heh…), post your answers on your blog, then link back to this post.